The Life of Danville
by FrostyJudge
Summary: This is a series of one-shots where I take a PnF character and I write about his/her backstory (as Doofenshmirtz will say), interests, motivations, and quirks. Will be as canon-compliant as possible (Including 'Act your age'), unless there are no other sources available. Rated T for mild language.
1. Buford

**Buford: Age 2**

"Jack! Don't you dare leave me and Buford alone!" Biffany Van Stomm shouted ferociously.

"Why shouldn't I? You've always talked about how tough you are! See if raising a bloody kid will 'toughen you up,' cause I ain't gonna be part of that no more!" her husband shouted back, his gravelly voice hoarse and slurred, with the stench of alcohol evident in the living room.

A toddler Buford Van Stomm, swaddled in a diaper, could only stare in horror as the noise level increased to an earthshaking volume. This has been a common occurrence ever since he was born, but this one so far has been the loudest.

"He's our child! You're supposed to be a caring, loving father to this boy!"

"I SAID I AIN'T GONNA BE PART OF THAT NO MORE!"

At the end of that final sentence, Jackson Van Stomm stormed out of the house, never to be seen again.

Biffany fell to her knees and started sobbing uncontrollably. Her husband, irascible as he may be, has always been a loving man, upholding the Van Stomm tradition of being a caring husband to the utmost degree. That all changed when Buford was born; Jackson was unprepared for fatherhood, and soon found himself struggling between his job, his wife, and his newborn child. The stress eventually proved to be too much and Jackson soon slipped into alcoholism, causing the end of what was once thought to be a loving marriage.

Right when a new wave of sadness was about to erupt within her, Biffany felt a gentle pat on her shoulder. Turning around, she was astonished to find that baby Buford, who has never before been able to walk for an extended duration, has managed to reach her from the sofa to where she was lying on the kitchen floor, a good 20 feet away.

"Mama…" Buford cooed, trying to wrap his arms around his beloved mother, only to fail and trip onto the floor bottom first. Despite her sorrow, Biffany could not help but laugh at her son. Oh, if only Jack was here to see this!

"Oh my sweet child," Biffany murmured, picking up the toddler. "You have been so gentle and caring since you were born. I know that when you grow up that things may change, but I hope that this side of you never, ever goes away."

Biffany tickled Buford under his chin, causing him to gurgle happily and wave his arms around. With a bittersweet sigh, Biffany proceeded over to the nursery room. _I will never leave you alone Buford_ , thought the now single mother. _For that is the Van Stomm way._

 **Buford: Age 5**

"Hello, nerd! Well, well, what have we here! Looks like you brought me lunch!"

It just wasn't fair; Buford finally had a friend after countless failed attempts in preschool. He tried to share his toys and coloring books with the other kids, but they just kept ignoring him, calling him names like 'crybaby' and 'wimp' while stealing his stuff. Then the carnival came along, and when he won the goldfish from the hammer game, he could not be any happier. But he just had to run into the local bully on his way back home, and now his newfound best friend was about to be eaten.

At that moment, something cracked inside Buford. Being nice didn't get him anywhere, and asking nicely was not going to save Biff. He was NOT going to let anyone hurt his best friend, no matter how big or small they were. So, with his newfound anger, Buford charged at the bully, screaming at the top of his lungs over the possibility of losing his one and only friend.

30 minutes later, Buford bursted into the house and stormed into the kitchen in excitement, where his mother was rolling out pie dough.

"Mama! Mama! I got a goldfish from the carnival!" Buford exclaimed, his gravelly voice teeming with joy.

"Oh that's wonderful honey! What did you name him?" His mother asked, clearly very happy for her son.

"I named him Biff, after you! And he's going to be my best friend!" Buford cried out, hugging the bag with the goldfish inside very tightly.

"Oh Buford…" Biffany replied, her eyes sparkling at the fact that her precious son named his pet after her.

"But ma, some meanie tried to take Biff from me and eat him…" Buford said, looking down at his feet ashamedly.

Biffany stopped rolling the dough and looked at her son pointedly. "What happened afterwards?" Biffany asked, narrowing her eyes as she pondered the possible outcomes.

"I beat him up, Ma. I got so angry at him; I couldn't let him take Biff away from me! He was my only friend!" Buford cried out, looking apologetic at what he had done. "They always try to take something from me," he murmured, looking at Biff sadly.

"Buford, while I don't like how you had to use violence to solve that problem, I'm proud of you for standing up for what you wanted," Biffany said, ruffling her son's hair. "We are Van Stomms Buford," she said, "And Van Stomms will always be there to defend what they want and who they love, no matter who gets in their way, do you understand?"

"Yes, mama," Buford said. It was at that moment that Buford decided that to no one will ever hurt him again. Being nice wasn't going to get him what he wanted; he was going to have to take it by force, just like how he had to take Biff back from the local bully.

 **Buford: Ages 8-13**

Ever since that day, Buford tried very hard to show off his rough and gruff bully persona as often as possible. He usually picked on one person (unfortunately, this was usually Baljeet) to punch, sit on, give wedgies and wet willies.

However, as the years passed by. It was clear to Buford's friends that the bully persona was merely a facade to cover up a much softer person inside. No matter how often he threatened his friends, no matter how often he chewed tuff gum, Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and his 'nerd' Baljeet were all able to see through Buford's bully persona quite easily. Instead of punching nerds, Buford likes to sing French romantic songs to remind himself of his respect to the culture. Instead of giving wet willies, Buford likes to read and recite Shakespeare (When Phineas built the haunted house for Isabella, his recital of "Wash away the horror!" was attributed to Macbeth).

Fortunately, Buford's friends all had the good grace to not mention this directly, choosing instead to pretend that Buford is still the neighborhood bully (though poor Baljeet had to pack extra underwear to maintain this cover) but still invite him to every single activity that they do.

Buford did not mind this in the slightest, because while on the outside he seemed indifferent about the things they all do, inside Buford was having the time of his life with friends he never thought he would have. However, everyone throughout the school still saw Buford as the feared bully, with strength and ferocity to match. It was only a matter of time before Buford was forced to make a choice between what he pretends to be and what he truly wants…

 **Buford: Age 14**

"Hey Van Stomm! You're the kid that the coach was talking so much about right?"

Buford quickly closed his copy of Les Misérables, shoving it into his backpack as quickly as possible, and looked up. Five towering faces were glaring down at him at the cafeteria table, each of them resembling the build and appearance of a refrigerator (head included) wearing a football letterman jacket.

"Ya, that's me," Buford replied, returning their glares with a menacing one of his own. "Ya got a problem with that?"

The football players continued to stare down at Buford until eventually, one of them lost his composure and started to smile.

"Yea, you're as tough as the coach said you were," one of the football players said, chuckling. "The name's Tanner Steel, I'm the varsity captain," offering his hand out to the tall freshman, who hesitantly took it. "We want you to come out to the field after school today and show us what you're made of. If you're good enough, you might even start on the varsity team for next week's game."

Buford kept his glare fixed onto Tanner, but inside his mind was screaming. _I was gonna help Mr. Krause grade those AP French essays after school today, damn it!_ Buford thought ferociously to himself.

"Ya got it, Steel. You better be prepared," Buford replied, never taking his eyes off of the football captain. Tanner gave a respectful nod in reply, and then motioned the other four to leave with him.

Buford sat back on his chair and sighed. _This ain't gonna be a good day_ , Buford thought to himself.

 **Two weeks later:**

"And it seems that Will Parker, #16, starting running back for the Danville Knights, has been injured to where he can no longer play for the evening. The score is now 22-17, with the Tri-State Wolves leading in the 4th quarter." The announcer rumbled as a dark-skinned young man was carted off on a stretcher to the ambulance. The students on the stands shared looks of unease; they had a good chance of making it to the state championship this year with Will, and now the chances of even reaching the playoffs seemed slim.

"VAN STOMM!" a voice shouted out, military-like in both tone and volume. "You're up!"

"Alright, Coach Sanders!" Buford shouted, as he strapped on his helmet with a grunt and ran out to the field.

"Taking Parker's place for tonight as the starting running back will be freshman substitute Buford Van Stomm, #23! The announcer boomed, with the crowd cheering loudly in return. Ever since the news broke out that a freshman has made it on to the varsity football squad, the student body could not help but grow curious, wondering just how good the self-proclaimed ex-bully really was.

 **Meanwhile:**

Amidst the crowd, to the far corner where no one can see them, gathered Buford's closest friends. Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Irving, and the old fireside girls troop were all huddled at the corner. Even Baljeet, who was attending Danville University as a Mathematics Ph.D student, decided to drop by to see if his best friend will get a chance to be on the playing field tonight.

"You think he's going to be ok?" asked Isabella, concern evident in her voice.

"Judging from past experience on the strength at which he has given me wedgies, I do not think you have anything to worry about Isabella." Baljeet replied, with a slight smirk on his face.

"We all know how strong he is," Phineas continued, wrapping his blanket around a now shivering Isabella, "No one can stop the angry wall of meat."

"I don't think it's how well he plays that we should be worried about," Ferb replied quietly, "I think we should be worried about how he's going to react to all of that attention he's going to get if he plays tonight."

With that happy note, the gang all turned their faces back onto the football field, hoping that nothing bad will happen to their angry wall of meat.

 **Back on the Field:**

"Van Stomm, I know this is your first time on the field and all, but we're going to have to give the ball over to you; their cornerbacks are just too good for me to pass this game." There was two and a half minutes left in the game, so it was probably the last chance that the Danville football team has to score before the game ended.

"Once you have the ball, stay close to Williams, he's one of our best tight ends. He'll try to cover for you as much as possible. Alright? BREAK!"

Buford mind-numbingly walked out onto formation, unable to process what is happening.

 _Isn't this what you wanted Buford? To be seen as the toughest kid in the school?_ A gruff voice asked him in his mind.

 _Not like this_ , the other voice replied as Steel started to yell out the snap. _This is not what you truly want Van Stomm_.

 **30 minutes later:**

Buford never imagined just how loud the locker room could get. And yet here he was, nearly deaf as the entire team cheered and clapped him on the back for his 72 yard touchdown that won them the game 23-22 against their fierce cross-town rivals.

"Party at Tanner's house man! Come on!" One of his teammates yelled at him as they started to pack up for the evening.

Buford winced; while the idea of going to a party sounded appealing in its own way, such parties usually meant that heavy drinking was involved. Knowing that such thing was what caused his father to leave him, Buford decided that the less he became like his father, the better. Quickly thinking of an excuse so that he didn't seem like a total loser, Buford stood up and slung his gym bag over his shoulder.

"Eh, not tonight man. Feeling too tired after putting those wolves down!" Buford walked out of the locker room from the roaring laughter of approval from his remaining teammates.

With the starry skies and the cold air calming his anxiety, Buford continued to walk forward with his eyes downcast _. Great, now everyone is gonna see me as this meathead that's gonna get them that trophy_. Buford thought as he walked towards the parking lot to find his mother. _That's not what I want to be remembered as_. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear or see a group of people running towards him at a brick-neck speed, ramming him into a massive group hug.

"Oof, whas going on?" Buford shouted, his words muffled through the many-armed hug.

"Buford you were so great tonight!" Isabella shrieked, laughing at Buford's surprised reaction.

"That was a great run dude!"

"Are you going to win the state championship for us?"

"I had no idea you were that fast!"

Shouts and cries kept getting tossed back and forth amongst the group of friends as they embraced Buford in a congratulatory hug. As Buford muttered his thanks for all of the congratulations, he couldn't help notice one thing that stood out; Gretchen was standing off to the side, having a concerned look on her face as she locked eyes with Buford. _Well at least I'm not the only one that's thinking what I'm thinking_ , Buford thought, feeling oddly comforted by the gesture.

 **Monday morning after the game:**

"Go to, farewell! Put money enough in your purse!" recited Buford in a friendly manner.

"I'll sell all my land," Irving declared hopefully.

Irving Du Bois scampered off back to his seat, having completed his role as Roderigo in Shakespeare's Othello reenactment scene for English class. Buford, role-playing as the serpent-tongued villain Iago, turned and faced the rest of the class as he began his soliloquoy, taking on a vicious expression in place of his previously friendly expression.

"Thus do I ever make my fool my purse.

For I mine own gained knowledge should profane

If I would time expend with such a snipe

But for my sport and profit."

All of this was said with elegance and grace, with a rich tone that failed to resemble Buford's regular manner of speaking. Buford paused momentarily, taking a deep breath before hardening his eyes in place of pure hatred for Othello, the protagonist of the play. After the pause, Buford continued, pouring all of his venom into the next four words that he spoke.

"I. Hate. The. Moor."

As Buford continued his soliloquy, Irving looked around the room, looking at his classmates' reactions. Irving spotted Adyson in the far corner, her eyes wide open and slack jawed as she listened and watched a side to Buford that she has never seen before. Gretchen was right next to her, her star struck eyes matching the brightness of the smile that she wore. And most noticeable of all was Ferb, who was directly facing Buford. The green-haired Brit's normally neutral expression has been replaced by one of surprise and admiration. _Wow, Buford must be giving one heck of a monologue if it's impressing Ferb_ , Irving thought. _Ferb is NEVER impressed_.

Behind his act, internally Buford was having the time of his life. _Ha, look at Beanpole McGee over there! I bet he's never heard me do this before!_ Buford thought proudly. As he finished his soliloquy to the cheering of the class, his happiness soon vanished as he thought about the rest of his day. _Crap, coach sanders is probably gonna double down on my practice_ , Buford thought morosely. _And today was looking to be such a great day_.

 **6 hours later:**

It seemed like forever, but eventually the final bell rang. With a sigh, Buford got up from his seat and left the biology classroom. Science has never been his best topic, and he's found himself struggling recently on the current unit. What was worse for Buford was that now he has to go out for his first practice after that game on Friday, which was something he was not looking forward to because of all the attention he's going to get. Buford trudged over to his locker, trying to enjoy his freedom as much as possible before he's back to doing something he doesn't want to.

"Hey Buford?"

Buford turned around in alarm at the sound of his name, only to find Gretchen standing nearby. Buford smiled; ever since she slapped him during the pharmacist invasion, he and Gretchen have become very good friends, bonding over their shared interest in classical literature and their strong personalities.

"I just wanted to let you know that your dialogue during English this morning was amazing, I never knew you were such an actor!" Gretchen exclaimed excitedly.

"Thanks, Gretch. I wanted to surprise Ferb and show him that I'm more than just an 'angry wall of meat'," Buford replied, smirking. "The look on his face was probably one of the best things ever."

Gretchen and Buford both laughed heartily at the thought of Ferb breaking away from his neutral expression.

"Besides that…" Gretchen continued, recomposing herself. "I just want to let you know that I know that you're not enjoying football right now."

Suddenly looking very serious, Gretchen placed her hand on Buford's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"I just want to let you know that whatever decision you make, I'll be there to support you. You don't have to do this alone Buford. You better not think of yourself as some lone warrior in this whole thing, cause you're no Clint Eastwood."

"Me? Being compared to Clint Eastwood? That's rich," Buford replied with a smile. "But thanks a lot Gretch, means a lot coming from you. It really sucks having to do something that you don't want to just because of how others think about me," Buford continued. "But hey, I guess that's just how the wheel turns."

Gretchen nodded solemnly at this fact, wishing that Buford didn't have to go through so much pressure. "I've got to go now, but I'll call you later tonight about that French homework, ok?" Said Gretchen.

"Yea I'll see you later!" Buford answered, watching as Gretchen turned around and walked out of the doors. Hoisting his gym bag, Buford started to walk in the opposite direction, hoping that the coach would not be too hard on him for his play on Friday.

 **Interlude:**

And so this pattern continued throughout the fall season. Buford divided his time and energy primarily between his passion for literature, friends and French and his obligation to the football team. While far more preferring the former, Buford was forced to address the latter in order to keep up his image throughout the school. Only Gretchen was aware of this duality; the rest of his friends either failed to notice Buford's dilemma or were too busy with their own lives to pay attention. Even Baljeet, Buford's best friend, did not notice this double-life as he was shifting his attention towards his mathematics degree in Danville University.

However, as much as he tried to shake off football, Buford found that it held onto him even tighter; before he knew it he has become one of the top running backs in the state, scoring touchdowns after touchdowns to give the Danville Knights a near perfect record. And as the hype surrounding Buford grew, so did the pressure; Buford found himself in the middle of all attention, being flirted by all of the cheerleaders and invited to all of the parties. As appealing as the idea sounded, Buford could not help but feel uncomfortable at all of the attention; he didn't want to spend his weekend nights at a party; he just wanted to watch a movie marathon with Phineas and the gang. However, as the wins continued to pile on, so did the expectations, and soon the Danville Knights found themselves in their first championship game in over 35 years…

 **Championship Finals Day:**

"Are you nervous, Buford?"

There were only a few hours left before the championship game started, and Buford was spending his remaining time with his beloved mother, hoping to get the pre-game jitters out of the way.

"If I said no, Ma, would you believe me?"

Biffany laughed in response. "Fair enough Buford. But you know for a fact that you're going to do fine right? From the way the coach has talked about you, your technique and form is perfect in every way."

Buford flushed in embarrassment at the compliment. "I just try my best Ma," Buford murmured. "But what if I mess up? What if everyone hates me?"

Biffany looked at Buford in surprise. "Buford, have you ever acted based on what others think about you?"

Buford thought back to his childhood, and all of the times that he did what he wanted to do regardless of what the others said. Like how strictly that he lived by the bully code. How he stopped what he was doing to get a snack no matter how many times Baljeet was yelling at him. He was indeed a very stubborn man, who did not let anyone spoil whatever he was doing or feeling at the time. But at the same time, Buford had some secrets that he hid. Topics and hobbies, such as literature and the arts, that he would rather not share with anyone outside of his closest friends. After all, that is how he ended up on the varsity football team. A small smile crept up on his face. "I guess we'll have to wait and see, Ma."

With that being said, Buford slung his bag over his shoulder as he prepared to walk to the high school for the team bus to take him to the stadium where the game was to be played. He looked back to see his mother giving him an encouraging smile through her shining tears of pride _. At least there's one person who loves me just the way I am_ , Buford thought as he walked out of the door.

 **2 hours later:**

"LET'S GO KNIGHTS! K-N-I-G-H-T-S!"

"RAIDER! RAIDER! RAIDER! OI! OI! OI!"

The once tied score was just broken by a field goal from the Ackerton Raiders, and they were now leading 27-24 with 45 seconds left on the clock. In order to win or go into overtime, the Danville Knights would now have to score a field or a touchdown from their own 10-yard line within the next minute. _We should be able to make it_ , thought Buford as he started to prep his helmet.

"Van Stomm, this is the last shot that we have, we're behind 12 yards and it's the 3rd down!" Hollered Steel as he looked at him eye-to-eye. "Get out there and get us that win!"

Everything around Buford seemed muted as he took his position on the line of scrimmage. It took all of his willpower to even hear Steel's orders during the huddle. Buford was exhausted; he's been running the ball all night hoping to secure the win for the Knights. He's never felt so tired before in his life; even the adventures with his friends during the summer were nothing compared to this. At the moment, everything felt numb for Buford. _I'd rather be anywhere but here right now_ , thought Buford.

As the ball was handed to Buford, the last thought Buford had on his mind was how much he was looking forward to his mom's cooking as soon as he got home. Then suddenly everything went black.

 **3 days later:**

"Consider me surprised Buford, I thought nothing was capable of stopping the angry wall of meat."

Buford looked around the unfamiliar room in confusion, trying to find the source of the noise. Noticing a smiling Baljeet in the corner, Buford couldn't help but smirk at his best friend.

"Well, I ain't exactly Iron Man, ya'know?" Remarked Buford.

"Actually, I recall you claimed to be so at one point during middle school," countered Baljeet.

"Ya get what I mean nerd," Buford retorted out loud. "Now where am I and what the hell happened?"

The smile on Baljeet's expression quickly faded. "You were running the ball and was very close to scoring a touchdown, but one of the Ackerton players rammed you to the point that you fell unconscious. The doctor says that you have had a major case of concussion. It has been three days, Buford."

At the mention of how long he's been in the hospital, Buford sat up immediately, trying his best to ignore the massive wave of dizziness that has just now washed over him. "Is my ma ok?" Buford asked, wincing in pain.

"Your mother is fine, Buford. She will be thrilled to know that you have awoken." Baljeet responded.

Buford laid back onto his hospital bed and sighed. "I should have never played football," Buford murmured, lost in his own thoughts.

Baljeet looked up in alarm. "Why? You were regarded as one of the best players in the history of Danville High. College scouts were already looking at you."

"Just cause I'm good at it doesn't mean I want it," Buford replied, closing his eyes as his tried to relax in his bed. "I never wanted to do it from the beginning but everyone just expected me to cause I tried to look like this tough guy. No one's gonna appreciate a Shakespearean Francophile, so what choice did I have?" Buford continued, a single tear streaming down his face. "And now I worried the hell out of ma and the others."

Baljeet looked over at Buford curiously. "I do not understand, Buford. Since when did you become the kind of person that cared about what others think of you? The Buford that I used to know would have punched the person who insulted him in the face and then walk away!"

Buford glared in response. "Maybe I just didn't want to get hurt anymore, have you ever thought of it that way?! I didn't want another Biff gettin' eaten, or another dad leaving his kid!"

Baljeet was thunderstruck. Never before has Buford been so open with his feelings before in his life, and the thought that he was hiding so much pain was horrifying to say the least. "Buford, I…"

Just then, the door opened and Gretchen stepped into the sanitized room. Immediately afterwards, she rushed over to Buford and tackled him into a hug. "It's about time you woke up you dunderhead!" Gretchen screeched, partly in excitement and partly in relief. "We've all been waiting in that stupid lobby ever since you landed here!"

"All of you guys…?" Buford inquired.

"Yes, you idiot. Did you really think we were going to leave you?" Gretchen retorted angrily in response.

Amused, Baljeet looked over at Buford, who was now completely baffled at the notion that his friends would go through so much for him. Buford locked eyes with Baljeet and reddened, the answer to his angry rhetoric earlier been made clear. No matter what Buford goes through, and no matter how much he changes, his friends will never, ever leave him.

"You better not faint while I go get the others." Gretchen said, standing up to walk out of the hospital ward. "Or I swear…"

If Buford has been more observable at that moment, he would have spotted a slight flush appearing on Gretchen's face. However, he was still too busy pondering over her previous words to take any notice as she walked out the door.

"So what are you going to do now Buford?" Asked Baljeet, curiosity etched in his voice over his best friend's new revelation.

Buford frowned in concentration, realizing now that with football over, he can do whatever he wanted to do. He wasn't planning on going back to that sport either, no matter how good he might have been this season. All he wanted to do now was read plays, watch movies, and act.

"Hand me that Othello book, will ya? I managed to surprise Beanpole McGee with my Iago dialogue a few weeks ago, and I'd give anything to see that look on his face once again."

 **Author's Note: My inspiration on Buford's Iago dialogue was from Kenneth Branagh's performance in the 1995 film. If you want to, go to YouTube and look up [Othello - Act 1, Scene 3 "I hate the Moor"]. Kenneth Branagh's performance here was bonechilling. My primary inspiration for this story came from the behind the scenes of 'Act your age'; if you look up kicsterash on deviantart (who made the character designs for that episode), her original sketch of the PnF crew in the future had Buford in a letterman jacket, yet in the final design Buford was depicted much more differently. I wanted to expand on that, and try to see why and how Buford changed to that state. Please give me feedback on the quality of this story, since this is my first one. I'm curious on what you guys think.**


	2. Baljeet

**Baljeet: Age 5**

"Well Baljeet, we are here. Welcome to Danville!"

Baljeet rubbed his eyes as his woke up from his nap as the plane was descending. Looking out the window, Baljeet saw what was perhaps one of the most peculiar cities he has ever seen. There was an ocean nearby with a port and a harbor, and yet he swore he saw Mount Rushmore nearby in his subconscious shortly before his father woke him up. There was an enormous purple skyscraper that reminded him of evil (but catchy) jingles and platypuses (or platypi? Platypeople?), an ironic life-like billboard that was labeled 'honest guy used cars' ( _I do not believe those two terms should be used togeth_ er, thought Baljeet), and another skyscraper that appears to have a giant exclamation mark painted onto it ( _How do exclamation marks and finances go together?_ ).

As Baljeet tried to take in the absurdity of it all, another part of his mind still ached with sadness over leaving India. There were too many things that he misses already from what was once his home: he misses his uncle Sabu, who was as good in performing Bollywood numbers as he is at running his rubber empire. He misses playing soccer with Mishti. He misses it all. Well, I guess there are still some things that will never change wherever I go, thought Baljeet, taking out his math notebook. Soon Baljeet found himself buried in solving Laplace transforms as he tried to suppress his grief. _The feelings come and go_ , thought Baljeet sadly as he began to work through his problems, both mathematically and emotionally. _The feelings come and go_.

 **Two years later:**

Baljeet let out a sigh as he sat on the see saw by himself in Danville park. Classes had just gotten out, and the park was a short distance away from Danville University. But Baljeet has found no enjoyment in his life so far; as much as he loves to do math and learn something new every day, he seemed to have no one to share it with. The college students looked at him like a class mascot, and no one wanted to play with him at kindergarten ( **A/N: Baljeet went to a different preschool/kindergarten than the rest of the gang** ). Baljeet, in a vain attempt to comfort himself, began trying to solve the amount of force resisting his fall as the seesaw rocked back and forth. The feelings come and go, Baljeet repeated to himself, the feelings come and go.

"What are ya doing here kid?"

 _Oh no_ , thought Baljeet., as he eyed the massive boy that was now standing in front of him, arms crossed together. While they looked about the same age, the similarities ended there; this boy was ginormous while he was tiny, this boy was pasty white while he was dark-skinned, and this boy had a brutal jaw line while his was smoothly round.

"Nothing," Baljeet replied quickly, willing to say anything to make sure that he doesn't make the giant angry.

Upon seeing his nervousness, the giant's face softened momentarily. "Hey calm down man, I'm not going to hurt you. At least, not right now," the giant said, looking thoughtful. "I live by the bully code to the core, and the code states that we have to at least give some sorta warning before I hurt you."

Despite the blatantly obvious threat, Baljeet couldn't help but laugh a little. "It is comforting to know that even the most unsavory professions live by a code of honor."

"Why thank ya," the giant responded, and soon afterwards offered his hand. "I'm Buford, Buford Van Stomm."

"My name is Baljeet Tjinder," replied Baljeet politely, shaking his giant hand.

And so began one of the strangest friendships to ever exist in the history of the Tri-State Area.

 **Interlude:**

Soon Baljeet found himself surrounded by friends. While Baljeet still took care to make sure that he stays on top of his academic work (much to the approval of his beloved mother and father), he also found himself spending time over at Flynn-Fletcher backyard. While some of their inventions contrasted directly with his lifestyle (the giant bubble ride nearly gave him a heart attack due to its interference with his schedule), one can look back retrospectively and agree that Baljeet needed that sort of thing to happen. Something unpredictable, something which cannot be calculated to give a perfect answer. As counter-intuitive as it was to Baljeet, these experiences taught him that rationality cannot solve every single problem. One problem in particular that he tried to solve but failed to was on romance.

To Baljeet, romance was his kryptonite. It was something that cannot be plotted or calculated; no formula exists that pertains to what it could mean or what it could do. Romance relied on aspects that were the complete opposite of Baljeet's favorite attributes. It relied on passion, unpredictability, and emotional depth. Baljeet detested and was incapable of all three of those traits. And yet he still tried to understand it, for it was essential to human life. His curiosity began with Mishti, when her visit to Danville started something in Baljeet that he could not describe, something which caused him to panic and turn to Phineas and Ferb for help. However, Phineas was just as clueless as Baljeet was, maybe even more (Poor, poor Isabella). Hence, while Baljeet tried to follow every single idea or rule that romance is supposed to have, he still could not understand it. Not even organizing a giant cruise ship.

But still he tried. He turned his attention to Isabella, who was the only girl that joined the gang on a regular basis in their activities. But he found little success in this endeavor, for Isabella proved to be uncooperative in his attempts to understand. And soon, Baljeet found himself doing something that he's never done before. He gave up. He gave up on trying to understand romance, for it simply cannot be understood unless one actually felt it. This frustrated Baljeet to his core, but what choice did he have? He simply cannot just calculate it out. And so Baljeet decided to move on, fully absorbing the idea that he will simply never understand what romance, or even love for that matter, is.

 **Bee Day:**

Out of the seemingly numerous amount of commemorative days in Danville that existed, Bee day was not exactly the favorite of Baljeet's. Not only does the Bee Day song end with a B flat with an F# bass (which is totally off-key by the way), but the festival itself seems superfluous. Sure, the flowers are nice and all, but giant honey bears and bee parade floats? It all seems a little bit too pretentious. These were the thoughts of Baljeet as he watched Isabella ask Phineas to borrow the sorbet machine (repurposed to turn people into bees). Baljeet sighed; _no one truly understood the beauty of how bees work_ , thought Baljeet morosely. _They're not going to care about their behavior or their social structure, all they care about is the honey that they will produce._

"Hey Baljeet."

Baljeet turned around in alarm. No one, apart from his family and his closest friends, tried to start a conversation with him first! He looked over at the speaker; she was a pretty dark-skinned Asian girl, taller than most of the fireside girls troop.

"H-.. Hel…Hello Ginger," Baljeet stammered out nervously, remembering the girl's name from all the times that she joined Isabella during their summer adventures. Baljeet found himself in a very unfamiliar situation. Why would a girl, and a pretty one at that, want to talk to him?!

"We're about to be turned into bees to try to get our bee-keeping patch, cause the bees are missing! Do you have any other ideas on what we can do to help with that?" asked Ginger in a friendly tone.

Baljeet inwardly sighed in relief. He was back in familiar territory. _So that's what she wanted_ , Baljeet thought, _knowledge_!

"Well, bees are attracted to flowers, correct?" Baljeet began, relaxing into his familiar environment of stating facts. "Sometimes, these flowers are very far away, and certain bees are assigned to make sure that they scout out for the best flowers and report back to the colony to tell them where the flower is. They report back to the colony by performing what biologists today call a 'waggle dance', where they seemingly dance in a circular motion in front of the entire colony."

As Baljeet continued to talk, he could not help but notice Ginger's eyes growing wider with each stated fact. Despite her innocent expression, Baljeet could not help but notice that there was something else behind those eyes. Something that pertains to intense curiosity, and something that resembles… Hunger.

Baljeet shrugged inwardly, deciding that it was nothing more than a trick of the light. "While the dance itself seems random, each part of that dance gives important information about the location of the flowers," Baljeet continued. "If the bee dances vertically, or in a straight line, that means that the source is directly towards the sun. Any deviations simply indicate that the bees must travel at a certain angle relative to the sun to find the source. The time spent dancing is also very important. After rotating, the bees return to their original spot and waggle in a straight line before rotating around again. The time traveled is an approximate estimation of how far the source is. Waggling in a straight line for one second translates to about one kilometer."

At that, Baljeet paused momentarily, nervously wondering whether he has gone too far in stating facts. Usually when he does the people that he talks to tend to run away out of absolute boredom.

"This is fascinating! Tell me more about bee dancing!" Ginger replied excitedly, leaning her hand on the Flynn-Fletcher's backyard fence.

"Really? Because usually people are either gone or fall asleep at the time when I get to this part of the sentence." Baljeet asked. Never before has anyone shown this much interest, or even shown tolerance, in the things that he says. For once, Baljeet was given hope at the idea that he might not be alone in his world of intense scientific curiosity.

"Hey, Baljeet! Mind giving me a hand with these pools?" Phineas asked.

"In a minute…" Baljeet replied, exasperated at the interruption in his opportunity to share knowledge to someone with actual interest. "So to continue, the figure eight and..." Baljeet paused, realizing that Ginger was now gone.

"Awwww, annnnnd we are back," Baljeet said sourly, his hopes dashed as quickly as they appeared. _I guess it was too good to be true_ , Baljeet thought.

 **Later that day:**

At the end of the day, Baljeet found himself relaxing on a lawn chair in the Flynn-Fletcher backyard, fully dressed after the events of today. Overall, it was a pretty good day; despite the earlier disappointment, the giant water slide park that they built did more than enough to make up for it. He only wished he could finish the information that he wanted to share with Ginger.

"Hey Baljeet."

Despite the disappointment that he felt earlier from her, Baljeet could not help but smile on the inside while his inwards also fluttered around nervously. _Why am I doing that_? Baljeet thought to himself. _No one cares about you to THAT point_. Baljeet looked up to see Ginger looking at her feet, looking rather nervous about something.

"Hello Ginger," replied Baljeet politely, not wanting to let earlier emotions get in the way of the current conversation.

"Look, I just wanted to apologize to you earlier this morning for making you think that I just ditched you. I really wanted to know more, but Isabella already activated the machine by then and there was nothing I could do about it." Ginger blurted out, guilt evident in her voice.

For the second time today, Baljeet was stunned. _Why is she apologizing?_ Baljeet thought _. And most of all, why does she look so guilty while doing it?_ Determined to make that guilty expression of hers go away, Baljeet stood up from his chair and faced her directly. "You have nothing to apologize for Ginger, I understand that you had a busy day today, so really, there is nothing to be sorry about."

Baljeet then offered a nervous smile in return, relieving Ginger of all of her worries. Baljeet then paused, struck by a seemingly irrational idea. _I can't believe I'm about to do this_ , thought Baljeet. "May I… Interest you in some ice cream? Because it is Bee Day, they are offering a certain ice cream flavor known as Honey Lavender, and it is perhaps the most delicious thing that I have ever tasted."

"Sure!" Ginger exclaimed a little too excitedly. "Let's go!" She then immediately hooked her arm onto Baljeet's and began to drag him away from the Flynn-Fletcher backyard and towards the ice cream shop.

Over at the corner, Isabella could not help but smirk at what just happened.

 **Baljeet: Ages 8-14**

And so continued the interesting development between Baljeet Tjinder and Ginger Hirano. How did those two work together? In Ginger's eyes, intelligence and organization were the most attractive features that anyone can have, and Baljeet held an abundance of both. To Baljeet, Ginger was the first person who seems to have ever shown an interest to his passions and hobbies, which counts for something considering how often Baljeet's ramblings can put others to sleep. While Buford will always take the spot as Baljeet's 'bully' (aka best friend), Ginger became an intellectual equal that Baljeet could confide to any time that he had thoughts or rants about a topic of academia. Ginger, inspired by Baljeet's near limitless intelligence, became one of the top students in her class with a particular zeal for science (on par with Phineas and only bested by Ferb). Baljeet found himself coming out of his shell of insecurity more often, urged on by Ginger's unshakable support for the Indian-American.

However, despite their utmost trust in each other during these years, Ginger and Baljeet never went beyond a deep friendship. While both of them had a mutual interest in each other, they were both intelligent enough (or cautious) to realize that a full-extent relationship was nothing but impractical at the time being. Baljeet tried to have his own moments of romance, only to fail miserably; his passionate moment with Wendy Stinglehopper over winter break became a common conversation starter in elementary school for a short time, much to the embarrassment of Baljeet and the amusement of Ginger (sadly, Baljeet was unable to figure out romance even at that moment, despite the widely accepted notion that kissing is a tell-tale sign of romance). As confusing and frustrating (to the case of Ginger's sister Stacy) as it seemed due to what appeared to be a lack of 'a spark' between the two friends, most observers couldn't help but realize that Ginger and Baljeet were indeed perfect for each other, with great chemistry to boot.

 **Baljeet: Age 15**

Baljeet was stressed.

Trying to complete his mathematics Ph.D dissertation for Danville University at a young age of 15 wasn't exactly the most relaxing of activities. It didn't help that Danville high school just started its fall term a few days ago, giving his old friends plenty of time to readjust to the schedule while he was stuck with no break in sight.

And now Baljeet has been staring at the board in his office for the past 3 hours, trying to make sense of the equations that he's written down. It was a Saturday morning, and Phineas had invited him over to revisit the moon cows to restock their supply of moon ice cream, but Baljeet had politely declined in favor of working on his dissertation. The campus was nearly deserted that morning, so Baljeet was able to sit in his office without any distraction whatsoever. Not that it helped him with his work any further. _This is pointless_ , thought Baljeet hopelessly, tugging on the collar of his black and grey sweater vest out of frustration. At this rate, _I will be able to start teaching a college class at the same time as when I can start drinking._

"Hey Baljeet."

At the sound of that voice, all immediate worries vanished from Baljeet. With a content sigh, he turned around to face the speaker. Ginger Hirano was standing in the doorway, wearing a white sundress that brought out the color of her black eyes. She wore an expression of amusement, as if watching Baljeet fret over a math problem was the funniest thing she's seen in a while.

"Hello Ginger," Baljeet answered, smiling lightly. "As you can tell, I am not exactly having the time of my life right now."

"Then have you ever thought to take a break from it then?" Asked Ginger. "As far as I can tell, staring at the same problem for a few hours isn't exactly going to help you solve it any faster."

Baljeet huffed in false exasperation. "Your sass is at an all-time high today, Ginger."

"Why thank you, Professor Baljeet!" Ginger responded sarcastically, her amused expression never leaving her. "Now come on, we're going to get lunch."

Baljeet looked back and forth between Ginger and the math problem, trying to decide which one should be given a higher priority. Quickly coming to a decision, Baljeet fished his office keys out of his pocket as he prepared to leave the office. With a bright smile, Ginger exited first. With one last look at the problem, Baljeet locked and left the room, following Ginger closely behind. _Thank you Ginger_ , thought Baljeet. _For everything_.

 **Three months later:**

"Again, can you tell me how you convinced me that this was a good idea?" Asked Baljeet, sitting uncomfortably on his seat as they were taking the school bus over to the Danville Community Pool.

Ginger couldn't help but giggle at Baljeet's response. "Well I told you that doing this will help you get less stressed over all, but when that didn't convince you, I just used my anime face." Ginger then suddenly contorted her face so that her eyes became huge to match the ridiculously large smile that now appeared on her face.

"You are a cruel mistress," Baljeet replied, unable to take his eyes off from Ginger's face. "And yet I feel obligated to do whatever you tell me to do. It was a lot of trouble that I had to go through to be able to do this." To agree with Ginger's suggestion, Baljeet had to petition the Danville school board to allow him to participate, because he was not part of the Danville secondary educational system. It took some convincing and he had to draw on some strings (mostly from Ferb, who somehow happened to know the mayor of Danville through a mutual 'acquaintance' that Ferb would not name), but the board agreed to allow Baljeet to participate.

Ginger then switched back to her normal face and giggled again. "Come on, it can't be that bad! You need to do something different for once, and joining the swim team is a surefire way of doing that!"

Baljeet glared at Ginger. "Tell me again how jumping into a pool of water that is 17 degrees Farenheint lower than the average body temperature while wearing a skin-tight swimming jammer will benefit my life in any way, shape, or form?"

Ginger grinned in response. "Come on Baljeet, it'll be fun AND productive. Trust me, I've been doing this for years."

Baljeet sighed. "I do not think my mother and my father will approve of this activity."

Ginger raised her eyebrows in response. "Are you going to let them strictly influence how you should live your life?"

Baljeet stopped at that, pondering as he took in those words. _It's exactly like what happened to Buford_ , he thought. Baljeet sighed once again and decided to go along with Ginger's suggestion. _Well, it IS different. And who knows, perhaps I will actually get some sort of enjoyment out of this._

 **Two months later:**

Baljeet stood in shock as he looked over at the meet list once again, trying to see if there was a mistake in there somewhere. _You have got to be kidding me_ , thought Baljeet. _There is no way the coach decided to put me on the A relay!_

And yet there he was, listed as the anchor for the 400m freestyle A relay team. He looked over at Coach Rick, who just nodded in response.

"Baljeet? What's wrong?" Baljeet turned around; it was Holly, former fireside girl, a good friend of him and Ginger, and one of the top butterfly swimmers in the Danville High School girls swimming team.

Baljeet numbly pointed at the meet sheet in response. Holly took one look at it, and then broke out with a large grin over what she saw.

"I knew you had it in you Baljeet," Holly said happily, clapping Baljeet on the back. "You do realize that you were bound for the top relay after Rick saw your performance last week right?"

 _Last week_? Baljeet pondered. _That was nothing, I just realized that my hands were not angled correctly to create maximum force against the water. It only took one adjustment_.

"Baljeet, you do realize that the tiny 'correction' you made dropped your time from 59 to 52 seconds right?" Holly retorted, as if she's read Baljeet's mind. "I know you haven't been swimming for a long time, but a seven second drop in something like the 100 freestyle is HUGE. Ginger's been telling me about how you've basically calculated out the perfect swimming form every night after practice. All that had to happen was to wait for your body to catch up to it, which Ginger has described in great detail by the way." Holly added with a wink, laughing at the now confused expression that was on Baljeet's face.

"I have not realized that I have become so capable of this sport," Baljeet responded hesitantly. "But I will try my best today if that counts for anything."

"You're going to do great Baljeet, also make sure that you show off what you are for the others, ok?" Pointing now to Phineas, Ferb, Buford, Irving, Isabella, and the rest of the former fireside girls, Holly walked to the diving blocks where her relay team was waiting to kick off the event. "And for Ginger especially," muttered Holly, quietly enough so that Baljeet would not be able to hear.

Despite his extreme nervousness, Baljeet made sure to keep up with the infamous school spirit that the Danville Knights were well known for against the Tri-State Wolves. He cheered on Holly and Ginger during their 200-meter medley relay, with Ginger doing the backstroke and Holly swimming the butterfly leg. He congratulated Holly with the rest of his friends when she smashed the school record for the 100-meter butterfly, and he hugged Ginger (much to her excitement) when she overcame an initial deficit and came back to win 1st place in her 500-meter freestyle.

Baljeet himself didn't do too badly either; while his 200-meter freestyle was half a second off from his best personal time, he completely dominated his 100-meter backstroke event by three seconds, having perfected his formula for the perfect hand entry into the water for maximum torque two days before this meet. As the final event of the 400-meter freestyle relay started for the girls side, Baljeet stood up nervously to join the other three boys.

"Tjinder, you're going to do fine."

Baljeet turned around to face his coach. Rick, a large man with a permanent scowl, had a notorious reputation for being the fiercest high school coach in the entire Tri-state area. Growing up in a poor neighborhood, the man had to rely on a swimming scholarship to get a college education, and was now a successful owner of a thriving real estate firm. This cemented his life philosophy that there will be absolutely no tolerance for laziness. Interestingly enough, Baljeet agreed with such a philosophy, and has hence gotten along supremely well with the coach. His calculations on the perfect swimming form didn't hurt either.

"I've been watching you since the moment you stepped onto the pool deck, Baljeet. You were so nervous, but so determined at the same time. Ginger has spoken very highly of you, and as infuriating as that girl can be at times, she's right." Rick continued, his beady eyes never leaving Baljeet. "You've pushed yourself so hard, and you never let the other boys get inside your head and tell you you're not worth it on this team. Anyone can be good at what they do if they put in enough time and effort into it. There's a reason why I swapped you out with Alex for that final spot on the relay. So use it to your advantage, do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir." Baljeet replied, no longer nervous, but instead steely calm, having been inspired by the coach's words and the gesture of how much Ginger has spoken about him. Putting on his swim cap, Baljeet left for the pool deck.

"Ferb, have you ever seen Baljeet like that before?" Phineas asked, looking at what seems to be an entirely different person at the pool deck. This person resembles Baljeet, but the similarities end there; this person radiated confidence and a passionate determination to prove something.

Ferb merely shrugged, before his eyes lit up as he thought of something. "Actually, do you recall the Baljeetles? When Baljeet got so mad that he sang out at a sold out concert? That's where I've seen him like that before."

"Wait, so if you're saying that this is the same Baljeet…" Adyson started, now looking at the Indian American very curiously.

"Exactly," Ferb replied. "Something very interesting is about to happen..."

"You ready, Jeet?" Asked the swim team captain Mark Stukov, his Russian accent booming with the acoustics of the indoor aquatic center. "It is your first time on the A relay, no?"

Baljeet nodded silently in return, before scanning across the pool one last time. He spotted his friends in the audience stands to the left, who all flashed him warms smiles and encouraging waves. He looked to the right, and after a while spotted the person that he was looking for. Ginger was looking back at him, joy and hope shining in his eyes as he mouthed good luck at him. I have to do this, Baljeet thought. The feelings come and go, but not for her. With that last thought, he slipped his goggles over his head, darkening his vision to where he could no longer see the smiling Asian girl.

The three-fourths of the event went by painfully slow, as if time has slowed itself down to mock Baljeet for what is to come. And yet Baljeet refused to let anxiousness affect him, instead simply concentrating on making sure that he dives in at the perfect time. Danville was about one and a half second behind Tri-State, and he was determined to make that up with surgical precision and fluid grace.

And just like that, Baljeet leapt off the diving block just as the 3rd leg for the Danville Knights touched the wall in perfect timing. Embracing the cold shock, Baljeet started his dolphin kick in a perfect pattern for as long as possible before he broke the surface and began to stroke. The angle that his hands entered the water had to be perfect, and his kicks had to be in perfect rhythm in a beat-like pattern. He only hoped that his body would follow through with his commands.

The pool bottom suddenly flashed a black line; the first wall was about to come up. Bracing himself, Baljeet gave two more strokes before doing a perfect front flip and kick off the wall, executing a near-perfect turn without having to look at the wall itself directly. Breaking the surface from his extended dolphin kick, Baljeet began to stroke again, hoping that he was catching up, not daring to look to his right at the risk of mangling his swimming form even once.

The second wall was coming up, Baljeet flipped over again, again executing a near perfect turn. During the process, he could have sworn he heard shouts of a familiar Japanese-American who was pounding on the diving block, shouting encouragements during the last half of the race. Renewed with sudden energy, Baljeet continued on, refusing to let fatigue overtake him. _I'm not going to let her down_ , thought Baljeet, flashing back to Bee Day so many years ago. _Not now, not ever_.

As Baljeet came across the third and final wall, his peripheral vision picked up on a figure that was now only slightly ahead of him. _I'm close_! Baljeet realized.

Meanwhile, above the water, the crowd was increasingly becoming more frenzied as they realized that the Danville rookie was catching up to Tommy Schneider, one of the top college prospects in the Tri-State area. Ginger was screaming herself hoarse now, Holly was shouting at Baljeet to hurry up. Coach Rick kept yelling 'GO' in a steady pattern, similar to an alarm siren. In the stands, Buford was jumping up and down like a maniac, shouting at his favorite 'nerd' to beat the snot out of the Tri-State wolf. Phineas, in the heat of the moment, has grabbed Isabella's hand as he screamed at Baljeet. Isabella, too overwhelmed by the nervous tension in the air to notice, was banging on the metal stands, hoping that Baljeet can somehow hear them under water.

As Baljeet and Tommy went neck and neck in the final leg of the race, the crowd only grew louder, the acoustics in the pool amplifying the echoes that were now bouncing off of every surface in the building. There did not seem to be any lead that was being made in the last half of the finish, nor was there in the last 15, 10, 5 meters…

To the human eye, Baljeet and Tommy both touched the wall simultaneously.

However, the computerized sensor touchpad that was installed on the pool wall said something different.

Tri-State-A: 3:10:96

Danville-A: 3:10:95

The crowd went silent for a moment as they looked at the board and processed the information into their brains, and then immediately erupted afterwards.

Coach Rick was by far the loudest, screeching 'YES' at the top of his lungs, which can be heard all the way over from the Flynn-Fletcher Backyard despite it being an indoor pool. Dr. and Mrs. Tjinder were crying hysterically; never before have they ever been more proud of their only son. Buford was 'sweating through his eyes' as the emotions of the entire event overwhelmed him. Phineas and Isabella were jumping up and down in joy with their arms wrapped around each other, all shyness forgotten at the moment. The former fireside girls were all screeching, and Ferb was cocking a wide grin on his face, happy for Baljeet.

Baljeet's vision, for a second, went completely black. Never before has he ever put in so much physical exertion to an activity, and his body was punishing him for it. When his vision came back, he looked up at the board to see his time, and his jaw dropped in complete shock.

1/100ths of a second.

That's how much Baljeet beat the top swimmer of the Tri-State area by. Baljeet dunked his head into the cold water and out again just to make sure that he wasn't in a fantasy land. How could this ever happen, thought Baljeet, as he numbly shook hands with a disappointed Tommy. How could I, Baljeet Tjinder, actually have…

"BALJEEEEEETTTTTT!"

There was a screech, and then a splash, followed by the sound of Holly's laughter. Ginger soon appeared next to him in the water, all quiet dignity forgotten.

Baljeet couldn't speak, he couldn't even move his hands out of shock. So hence not even a tiny amount of resistance was given by him as Ginger wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips against his.

If the scoreboard gave him a heart attack, the kiss was the AED that brought him back to life. Electricity started flowing out from where their lips met and arced throughout his whole body. Baljeet could only hold Ginger tighter against him, determined to enjoy the indescribable sensation for as long as possible.

The combined weight of the two swimmers soon caused them to sink deeper into the water, away from the crowd and away from the noise, as they continued to kiss into the darkened blue.

 _Do you finally understand, Baljeet?_ A voice asked him. _Do you finally understand it?_

 _Yes, yes I do_ , thought Baljeet, as they continued to kiss underwater, never wanting to let go of the moment, or each other.

 _Thank you Ginger, for everything_

 **Author's Note: This only took me one day to finish, probably because this one was so much easier for me to write than the previous one because Baljeet's character is more similar to mine than Buford's. Obsessed with grades, insecure, and intelligent? Yea that's me. I am very, very proud of what I managed to write here, but feel free to give any feedback that you might have.**

 **The swimming arc was something that I wanted to put in for a while, as it was something that I did for four years when I was in high school. I decided to put in Baljeet because for me, swimming was a HUGE stress reliever, and I think we can all agree that Baljeet could really use some stress relief.**

 **And yes, I did indeed intend to start Baljeet's story off as a little bit sadder, because I know the pain of moving at an age when you can remember all your friends (I was seven when I moved to the U.S. from South Korea). It sucks, it really does suck, I can tell you that much right now.**

 **Many thanks to the people that have followed my story so far, and a huge shout-out to ElleFreak, who has been my inspiration to write.**

 **Let me know what you guys think; I hope to write out a lot more soon!**


	3. Heinz

**Heinz: Age 32, three days after the divorce.**

"I'll show them all, I'll make them ALL pay!"

Doofenshmirtz cackled to himself as he looked over his blueprints. _Finally_ , he thought. _I finally know how to take over the Tri-State area! No one can stop me, ever!_

The plan was near-perfect. Construct an army of mechanical soldiers with advanced weaponry. State your wishes in a language they all understand… With weaponry… That's the plan!

 _Let's see_ , Doofenshmirtz pondered. _The death ray will be attached onto a rod on the left shoulder at a fixed angle, operated by a switch mechanism that I will program into the robot's main processor. I'll also have to give the robots the ability to fly, though that means I'll have to look into an alternative power source to provide enough power for such a energy-costly process. In the meantime though…_

Suddenly his phone rang, disrupting his thoughts. Grumbling to himself, Heinz walked over and sat down on his couch, and answered his phone. "Hello?" Heinz's shrill voice rang out, irritated at his interruption.

"Oh hi Heinz! I'm just calling to let you know that I'll be dropping off Vanessa for the next three days while I'm out of town in about half an hour. You didn't forget about that did you? You were so excited at the time." His now ex-wife Charlene replied.

His irritation disappearing completely, Heinz stood up a little straighter. "Of course Charlene! Sorry if I sound a little grumpy, I was working on a project and I got lost in my thoughts," Heinz said sheepishly, feeling embarrassed now.

"Alright, I'll be there in half an hour with Vanessa and your alimony check," Charlene said. "Bye!"

Hanging up the phone, Heinz walked back over to his desk, where his blueprints were scattered about. Without hesitation, Heinz rolled them up, put them back into their cases, and stored them in his closet. _Maybe next time_ , Heinz thought to himself. _But for now I've got to get ready for my baby girl!_

Despite his newfound bitterness at losing who he once thought was the love of his life, Heinz was not able to exact his vengeance on the Tri-State area at all. It wasn't that he didn't want to take over the Tri-State area; it's just every time he tried to, Vanessa would get involved somehow, halting the process temporarily.

One time when he was trying to construct a mass-producible death ray, toddler Vanessa walked up to her father and asked him if he could make more Doonkleberry pie. Without even a second thought, Heinz had put away his invention and broken out the recipe book and the pie dough, to his daughter's delight.

Another time, when Heinz was trying to create a computer with enough processing power to hack into the American military, five-year old Vanessa started crying from her room for cutting her finger while making paper ninja stars. In a flash, Heinz abandoned his project without hesitation and rushed over to Vanessa, where he worked diligently to clean up the cut while singing her Drusselsteinian lullabies.

And so this pattern continued. Long term projects were put on hold as Heinz continued to spoil one of the few treasures that he had in his life. Despite the resistance that little Vanessa started to show to Heinz's smothering as she grew up, Heinz kept trying to be the best father that he can. Even if it did involve a bit more fluff for Vanessa's taste.

Vanessa was perhaps the only reason that Heinz never became truly evil. Sure, he could blab on all day about his plans to take over the Tri-state area, but in truth he never wanted to become evil. He was, as Vanessa put it, "a nice guy pretending to be evil." It took a while, but eventually Heinz realized this after many fruitless years. With his beloved daughter and his best friend Perry the Platypus, Heinz turned over a new leaf, finding enjoyment in the non-evil life.

Needless to say though, Heinz still needed to face his inner demons of jealousy and feelings of neglect. It's too bad that he had to face them in the worst possible way…

 **Heinz: Age 58 (One year after 'Act Your Age')**

Heinz sighed as he put down the newspaper once again. He was hoping that just this once, he would get to savor the feeling of triumph over his younger brother. But alas, Roger Doofernshmirtz proved to be just too popular for him to be defeated by a green politician fresh out of law school. "ROGER DOOFERNSHMIRTZ RELECTED AS MAYOR" flashed across the paper as the headline of the day, though no one was surprised by the revelation. Everybody loved Roger. Well, almost everyone.

"Is it even worth it, Perry the Platypus? To try to humiliate my brother for the umpteenth time? Knowing that at the end of the day it'll only fail? I know that I gave up evil a long time ago, but this is the one thing that keeps pulling me back to it." Heinz asked sadly.

Perry looked up from his lemonade with a look of pity on his face. The poor man has been trying so hard to stay as evil-free as possible, and yet he still continues to be haunted by the unfortunate circumstances from his childhood. Despite his reform from evil, the roots of it still remained inside Heinz. His regrets, mistakes, and bitterness were still confronting him daily, and it was tearing him apart.

Perry cocked a half-smile at Heinz in response. "You're right Perry the Platypus, I know I shouldn't let it affect me. I know I shouldn't! But it's Roger… He has everything that I don't…" Heinz answered back, growling as he mentioned his brother.

As Heinz began to ramble on again about his perfect goody-two-shoes brother, Perry motioned to Norm and politely held out his glass, asking for a refill. If Perry was going to listen to the same rant for the 100th time, he was going to need to preoccupy himself somehow.

"Sir! I have just received a message from your brother, Roger Doofenshmirtz." Norm suddenly perked up, his suburban tone remaining as optimistic as ever. "It appears that he has invited you over to his home for a celebration over his reelection! He would like to know on whether you wish to R.S.V.P. to this event!"

"WHAT?!" Heinz hollered in response, so loudly that a surprised Perry nearly spilled the lemonade on himself. "Is he TRYING to rub it in my face this time?!"

"But sir, your more-handsome brother told me that there will be almond brittle at the event!" Norm responded.

Heinz blinked, surprised at how quickly he has been foiled. "Curse you, Roger… You always just know how to push my buttons, don't you? FINE! I'll go to his stupid party! Let him know that I'm on my way!"

Heinz angrily stood up from the table and walked over to grab his wallet and keys, before realizing something. "Sorry Perry the Platypus, but I believe that you will have to leave for now. But we're still good for bowling night this Thursday right?"

When Perry nodded, Heinz began to walk out towards the door. At the last second though, he stopped, turning around to face Norm. "Uh… Norm? Where does Roger live? I've actually never been to his house before." Heinz asked sheepishly.

Perry couldn't help but roll his eyes.

In Heinz's mind, being the mayor of Danville equated to being the ruler. Being the highest ranking elected official in the city surely must bring in huge rewards. With the constant pampering and expensive suits, the mayor was the symbol of modern royalty.

Which is why Heinz himself was shocked as he stood in front of what seemed to be Roger's address. _There has to be a mistake_ , Heinz thought to himself. But the address that Norm provided matched with the street address that Heinz himself now stood in front of, and the thirty-room mansion that he imagined that Roger lived in was instead replaced by a two-story apartment complex, recently painted white in a rather pathetic attempt to cover up the cracks that appeared on the sides. Cigarette smoke wafted in the air, and the looming music and loud conversations from nearby complexes indicated that this particular neighborhood was occupied primarily by college students.

With stifling confusion, Heinz walked up to the door and pressed the doorbell. A few minutes later, an unusually disheveled Roger Doofenshmirtz answered the door. Seeing Heinz's face, Roger's expression quickly turned from one of worry to relief. "Heinz, thank goodness you're here!" Roger exclaimed, "Come on in."

Heinz stepped inside, looking around carefully with a scientist's eye. The inside was just as dilapidated as the outside; dirty dishes were stacked in the kitchen sink, clothes were scattered on the floor, and on the desk nearby rested a pile of important-looking documents that were scattered throughout the entire surface. "This is the home of the mayor of Danville?" Heinz blurted out, not bothering to cover up for his rather tasteless remark.

Roger couldn't help but chuckle. "Wearing a suit and a smile doesn't mean I'm exactly well off you know. You do realize that the salary of a Danville mayor is only about $40,000, right?"

Heinz's eyes widened as he took in this new piece of information. His wife's alimony checks were more than triple that amount per year!

"Why do you still run for mayor then?" Heinz asked curiously, his hatred for his brother temporarily vanishing in the midst of confusion.

"Oh Heinz, I'm only known for my looks and my charisma!" Roger answered, with an uncharacteristically bitter tone in his voice. "I don't have any of those 'special connections' that politicians have from their college days that can land them in the Senate, so I'm kind of stuck where I am. If I'm no longer the mayor, what else can I do?"

Heinz was thunderstruck. HE was supposed to be the one who has all the troubles and woes, not his better looking brother! "If you actually don't like being the mayor that much, then why did you call me over to 'celebrate' then?" Heinz asked.

At that question, Roger's face fell, replaced with a look of grief. "Mom's dying," Roger said, his voice barely above a whisper. "She's back in Drusselstein with the rest of her family. We need to head over there. I've got airplane tickets ready to go whenever we want."

The news hit Heinz like thunder. He's tried so hard to gain his mother's love all throughout his life, and pretty soon he'll never be able to get it again. "Should I get Vanessa?" Heinz whispered, his mind going numb from the news. Roger nodded solemnly in response, handing him his cell phone. Heinz punched in his daughter's number, a task that he found to be difficult because his fingers felt numb. "Vanessa honey? It's me. I need you to pack your bags for a trip and come to the Danville airport as soon as you can… It's your grandmother, she doesn't have much time left. Yes, you should bring Ferb, I got a feeling she would want to see him. Alright, I'll see you in a bit, bye Vanessa."

Hanging up, Heinz handed the phone back to Roger, still trying to process the shock. Roger was struggling to contain himself, clenching his fists as tears threatened to pour down his face. Heinz sat down on the nearby sofa, thinking back to his memories of him and his mother. Not a single happy memory was found that involved the two of them, and yet Heinz felt an overwhelming sadness that he has not felt ever since he lost balloony. Picking himself up, Heinz walked back over to Roger, and placed his hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to go back home and pack up," Heinz said, his voice lacking its usual energy. "I'll see you at the airport in an hour, ok?" With Roger's shaky nod, Heinz left the run-down apartment, walking back to his skyscraper. It was December, and a light snowfall had just begun. As Heinz breathed in the cold air, he struggled to control his emotions. _Funny_ , he thought to himself as he continued to walk, _I thought I'd never feel like this again_. _She never loved me, but why do I feel so sad?_ He soon found himself back outside his beloved skyscraper, the lights from the various floors shining out like an ornament on Christmas Eve. _It's probably because she's still my mother_ , thought Heinz, thinking back to happier times when he and Charlene were still together and raising baby Vanessa.

"Druseelstein's changed," Heinz murmured softly, as he looked out from the second story window at the Gimmelshtump inn. They had just arrived from the car ride over to the Doofenshmirtz's childhood home after landing at the Munich airport in Southern Germany. Despite the lack of air transportation in Drusselstein, it was clear that the country itself was beginning to show signs of modernization; gravel roads were being dug out and filled for car transportation, and a many construction sites were spotted during their car ride over to their destination (one of which happened to resemble the Googoplex mall).

"It says here that after her visit to Danville, the now-Queen Baldegunde was so inspired by the locals that she declared that Drusselstein to become modernized immediately," Ferb replied while reading the local newspaper, remembering the time when Candace's doppelganger helped him and Phineas out in constructing the giant jukebox. "Well, she really did seem excited at the time, even if it scared Buford off for the rest of the day."

Heinz glared back at the green-haired man. "I didn't ask for YOUR opinion, Fletcher."

"Dad!" Vanessa exclaimed, as Ferb looked down at his feet in embarrassment.

"Sorry about that, Fletcher, force of habit," Heinz apologized, looking sheepish. "Fell into a habit of hating all of Vanessa's boyfriends."

"DAD!" Vanessa exclaimed even louder, turning red from embarrassment herself.

Heinz cackled. "Like Roger, you two better get some sleep, we'll be heading over to the hospital first thing in the morning tomorrow." Heinz then took out a single key in his pocket and tossed it at the couple. "Your room is the third one on the left from the end of the hall, I'll see you two tomorrows at 6." With that, Vanessa kissed her father on the cheek and Ferb gave a respectful nod before walking out of Heinz's room.

Heinz sighed. He had taken a lot of time to think about Vanessa's new boyfriend two-day long plane ride over to Europe. _As long as he keeps my baby girl happy, I'm ok with her going out with that hoodlum_ , Heinz thought to himself as he started to get ready to go to bed. As he was brushing his teeth and changing into his pajamas, Heinz watched his brother as he slept. Roger's expression was contorted in pain, and he appeared to be cross his arms as if he was trying to give himself a hug. _Why does he look so lonely?_ Heinz wondered, as he got ready to go to bed. Just as he started to fall asleep, Heinz could have sworn he heard Roger murmur something in his sleep. _Probably just my accursed imagination_ , Heinz thought, as his mind started to shut down over the weight of sleep.

"Mama don't leave me…" Roger whimpered softly as he held the pillow against himself even tighter.

The next morning, Heinz and the rest of his party got up at the earliest possible time and went over to the Gimmelshutump Hospital. When the Drusselsteinian industrial revolution began, hospitals were among first buildings that were built as a direct result of Queen Baldegunde's new policy. While still holding traces of Drusselstein's archaic past (there was a giant statue of a lawn gnome in front of the doors), the hospital itself proved to be well fitted and equipment, with state-of-the art technology and professionally trained doctors.

Too bad Heinz and Roger had too much to think about to even consider these recent progressive changes.

The two unlikely brothers walked side by side, too afraid to look ahead or at each other. Vanessa and Ferb, noticing the nervous tension in the air, stayed at a safe distance behind as they continued to walk over to where the Doofenshmirtz matriarch was supposed to be staying.

"If only I was just a little bit good at kickball…" Heinz murmured as they continued to walk down the hall, his lab coat swishing against the cool sanitized air.

Soon they arrived at the appropriate room number. "Roger, you better go in first. You always were her favorite," Heinz said, biting down his last words with a bitter tinge.

Roger looked at Heinz apologetically, and then proceeded to knock on the door and then slowly enter. "Mother?" Asked Roger, his voice soft as a child.

On the bed lay the once-proud Doofenshmirtz matriarch, Maria Doofenshmirtz. The woman had wasted away, her skin stretched tightly over her bones while her eyes held signs of resignation and regret. Lying on the bed was not the plump woman that Roger remembered so fondly, but was instead a breathing corpse, holding on to the last remnants of life before she entered the unknown.

"Oh, Roger…" Maria whimpered, her eyes shining with tears. "You came,"

"Hello, mother," Roger replied, his face split with a sad smile. "It's good to see you again."

"Oh, and you brought your kids!" Maria exclaimed, glancing over at Vanessa and Ferb. "It's so good for you to carry on the Doofernshmirtz name, my son."

"Actually, MOM. Vanessa is MY daughter, and the green-haired hoodlum is her boyfriend," Heinz retorted angrily, who has just now entered, all grief forgotten. "Roger never married or had a kid."

"… Heinz?" Maria asked, turning around and noticing her eldest son for the first time. "Is that really you?"

"Yes, momma. It's me." Heinz answered, his high-pitched Drusselsteinian accent cracking with emotion as he thought back to his childhood.

Maria stared at her eldest son. Slowly, regret and sorrow began to creep onto her face. "I've always convinced myself that what I was doing would make you become a better man, that it was the necessary thing to do," Maria rambled, her tone getting steadily weaker. "Your father suggested it, telling me it was the Drusselsteinian way to toughen up the eldest son, and I just went with it."

Heinz continued to glare at his mother, drinking in her words as he tried to sort out the feelings that he had currently.

Tears began to form on Maria's face. "I never even thought about what such things affected you overall. All the birthdays, the dresses, all those cold, lonely nights when you had to act as your father's lawn gnome. All the days when I was so blinded by kickball that I favored Roger over you. When I realized this, I tried calling you several years ago to apologize, but you never answered your phone. I failed to be the mother that I should have been to you. I failed to make your childhood happy. I failed to love you for the simple reason that you are my son," Maria paused momentarily, saving up the last of her strength for the apology that she has wanted to say for so many years. "I'm sorry, Heinz."

At this, Heinz broke down completely. Sob after sob wracked across his body as Vanessa embraced him tight, tears brimming her eyes. Roger stood to the side in shame, convincing himself that he was at fault for this. Ferb remained stoic, but inside he was fighting a battle to make sure that old feelings don't come up, recognizing the familiarity of this situation.

His mother has finally said sorry for all she has done. And yet, it was all for nothing. Heinz would never again get to play kickball with his mother. Heinz would never again run to his mother for comfort during the night when thunders boomed across the sky. Heinz would never again help his mother bake Doonkleberry pies.

It was too late.

Maria can only stare at his son sadly for all that she has done, and how too late it was to try to make amends. With as much effort as possible, she turned to Vanessa. "Vanessa, dear?" Maria started, her voice growing weaker by the second. "When you have kids on your own, you make sure to love them as much as possible, ok?"

Vanessa could only manage a small nod as she struggled to not burst into tears.

"Young man," Maria turned to face the mysterious green-haired man. "If you happen to have a son, don't dress him up as a lawn gnome."

Despite the sorrow emanating in the room, Ferb chuckled lightly, giving her a respectful nod in reply.

"Roger, keep making me proud. You're doing fine enough as it is." Maria motioned towards Roger, who smiled wanly in response.

"Heinz…" Maria turned at last to face her eldest son. "I know you won't forgive me for a long, long time. But can I at least offer you a hug?"

Heinz, who had by now managed to regain control, nodded and gently went up to his mother's hospital bed.

Maria spread her arms wide, and with the little strength that she had left, wrapped her arms around the 58-year-old man and drew him closer to her. She rubbed her arms in a circular motion across Heinz's back, humming a soft Drusselsteinian lullaby that spoke of hope and love.

For the first and last time, Heinz Doofenshmirtz received a love that only a mother can give.

Maria slowly closed her eyes for the last time as she whispered the last verses of the lullaby, her arms never letting go of her son.

Maria Doofenshmirtz died that day at the age of 88, filled with regrets at what she's done. She is survived by her ex-husband, and her two sons Roger and Heinz.

That day, Heinz made a vow that he lived with for the rest of his life. No child will ever become neglected under his eye. This expanded beyond than just his future grandchildren: he accounted for ALL of the children that he came across. He made sure to stop by at the orphanage very often to make sure some level of appreciate was given to the residents over there. He also made sure to watch any students in his high school classes to make sure they felt appreciated and respected. Several times Heinz talked to several students who had suicidal tendencies, making sure that they know that they feel appreciated. Never again will a child ever feel neglected on his watch.

Despite such drastic events, life went on for Heinz Doofenshmirtz. He continued to call his baby girl Vanessa as often as he can, and he also continually visited Charlene and Roger, now realizing that Roger was not the shining white knight that he once thought he was. But as his hair turned whiter and his back became more slouched, Heinz continued to dedicate himself to make everyone around him feel appreciated, to fill the void that he had felt when he himself was a child. Eventually however, Heinz soon found himself becoming sicker and sicker, the stresses of his life culminating into a rapid decline for his health…

 **Heinz: Age 72**

"Goodnight, Dad. I love you."

With those last words, 41 year old Vanessa Fletcher kissed her father's cheek and walked out of the hospital room, since visiting hours were now over. Leaving with her was her beloved husband, the legendary Ferb Fletcher, co-founder and owner of Flynn & Fletcher Tech. Incorporated (with its own evil jingle and everything), one of the two revolutionary pioneers of the next industrial revolution. Their two children soon followed reluctantly, unwilling to leave their beloved grandfather.

Heinz knew his time to go was coming near. He's never felt so exhausted before in his life, and he was looking forward to finally getting that eternal sleep, with no neighboring dogs to wake him up in the middle of the night. However, there was one more visitor that he wished that he could talk to.

"Oh, there you are, Perry the Platypus," said Heinz weakly. "You've come here just at the nick of time. Of course, I don't have any traps for you today or any other eeevvilll schemes, so we'll just have to make do with a simple conversation."

The elder monotreme could not help but grin; despite how frail he has become, Heinz still managed to keep his mind sharp throughout all of these years.

"Perry the Platypus," Heinz started, his voice now dropping very low and tense volume. "Did I… Live a good life? Was I a good man?"

Without hesitation, Perry pulled out a giant photo album from his fedora. As he opened it, an old familiar jingle ("Doofernshmirtz Evil Incorporated!) started playing from a hidden mechanism inside the cover. He then held it up to Heinz as he flipped through the pages.

There were so many photos. There was a black and white snapshot of Heinz with balloony, his only friend throughout all those lonely childhood years. There was a photo of him drifting through college, bouncing around different areas from art to science, before eventually landing in evil school. But then soon afterwards, happier moments began to appear; his proposal and marriage to Charlene, the day Vanessa was born, all of those birthdays that his baby girl had (despite her reluctance to participate).

And there were more! Norm's marriage to his popsicle stick bride, his continual success in his non-evil career as a high school science teacher, Vanessa's high school graduation, bowling nights with Perry the Platypus, Major Monogram, and Commander Carl. The candid snapshot of absolute hilarity as Heinz met Lindana once again during Thanksgiving under much more different circumstances. Heinz began to tear up as he looked at one particular photo in general. It was a professionally photographed image of Heinz giving away his beloved daughter in the Danville Grand Cathedral, to be married away to the handsome and successful British man with a shock of green hair.

The tears continued to fall as he kept looking on, Perry flipping through the pages. The mountain trek that he embarked on with his brother Roger before his legs started to fail. Phineas and Isabella's marriage. The birth of his very first grandchild. There was a photo of him rocking his (step)-granddaughter to sleep as Phineas and Isabella watched on with proud smiles. And finally, Perry flipped to the last page. It was a photo of the entire Flynn-Fletcher clan, all of them sitting together happily on the Danville park lawn. Heinz himself was situated in the very middle, holding his youngest grandchild.

Perry soon closed the album book and looked over at Heinz, the answer now very evident.

"Perhaps you are right, Perry the Platypus. Perhaps I'm not such a bad person after all," Heinz whispered, his breath matching the beat of his heart rate monitor. "I really do miss building those –inators though."

Perry walked over and took Heinz's hand, realizing that it was almost time.

Heinz gave one last evil cackle (albeit a weak one) as he looked over at Perry the Platypus. "Curse you Perry the Platypus!" Heinz whispered, a fond smile stretching across his face as he said his catchphrase one last time.

 **I'm trying to go and address different themes for every chapter that I publish. Buford's chapter was all about issues with identity and trying to figure out the concept of self. Baljeet's chapter was about realizing that you cannot plan out your entire life (by the way, hat tip to Lowrider for the 'anime face' from the Hiranos, check out his story 'Summer of Love', it's great). This chapter was all about accepting and getting over the past.**

 **I'm fully aware that this was not my best chapter, but let me know what you guys think! Sorry if I went for the more sad angle here, but to me it was necessary because Heinz himself is a rather tragic character in my eyes. Many thanks to ElleFreak for continuing to be my inspiration for this whole thing, see you guys!**


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